marriage Archives - Allison Evans Coaching

Self-Care

Stop One, Start One: Shifting Self-Care Habits

Last week I wrote about the unique ambivalence women have about self-care. We beat ourselves up when we don’t take good care of ourselves, and then we feel guilty when we do. Why? Because women are socialized into a unique duty of intimate, self-sacrificing care to their communities: we are expected…

Allison EvansJuly 3, 2024

Love & Relationships Parenting & Family Life

The Spiritual Path of Motherhood

There are many paths to transformation, all of them hard and none superior to any other. I labored industriously as a student, relentlessly as a military officer, and tirelessly as a schoolteacher. But nothing changed me like motherhood.I recently wrote admiringly about the French approach to mothering that I encountered…

Allison EvansMay 9, 2024

Love & Relationships

Marriage as Serious Play

Everybody knows that marriage is “hard work.” But is it? I mean, is that the best way to think of it? Maybe not. “Marriage is hard work” is not an immutable law of nature. It’s a manmade concept. A concept is a shortcut for the brain, a tool to help…

Allison EvansFebruary 16, 2024

Communication Love & Relationships Stop Suffering, Start Living

Underground Desire, Mangled Request

Dining room curtains recently taught me how complicated my relationship with desire is and how bad I am at asking for what I want. I bought the curtains a month ago, to complete our kitchen and dining room renovation. But it was another month before I bought the rods. I…

Allison EvansOctober 7, 2022

Love & Relationships

Our Secret to a Happy Marriage

Guy and I have had 27 Valentine’s Days together, all of them happy. People have asked, “What’s your secret?” Good Luck I first want to acknowledge our privilege. We are lucky to be educated, well-employed, and white. It awards us right out of the gate an ease that not every…

Allison EvansFebruary 14, 2022