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As I write, it’s early February – deep winter for those of us in Northern Hemisphere four-season climates – and we’re feeling it. The post-holiday glow has faded, and the excitement of New Year’s resolutions may be wearing thin. You may even be feeling nostalgic for the old (comfortable, easy) ways….

If so, I have something for you. 

It’s a Valentine. From your Future Self.

Hey, Sugar –

First of all, you’re perfect just as you are. You don’t need to change a thing to be lovable. I love your smile, your laugh, how thoughtful you are, your gusto, intelligence, warmth, and sincerity. My heart has grown two sizes, just now, thinking about you!

And there’s more you want. There’s a carousel of desires in that precious heart of yours: less scrolling, watching, and pleasing; more reading, writing, painting, dancing, hiking, exercising, dining with friends, playing games, making love, sleeping. In short, less aimlessness and more purpose, presence, and creativity. 

And I want you to have what you want. Why not? You didn’t come here to settle! You came here to live – remember what the poet says? – to live “your one wild and precious life.” 

And I’m here – from your future – to tell you that it’s inevitable.

Yes, inevitable. As in, on what you want is on its way to you. As in, I (your future self) am enjoying it right now.

Because you, my darling, remembered this:

  • Change is created in tiny moments of choice. The first time you choose differently will be the hardest. The time after will be easier. The third time, easier still. Eventually, the old way will be a memory, and the new way will just be what you do now.
  • Urges. Urges happen, and they feel uncomfortable in the body. The quickest way to relieve them and feel better is to give in to them. But that’s a very short-term solution that perpetuates the problem. A slower but lasting solution is to notice the urge and investigate it. Ask, “What am I thinking and believing in this moment?” and listen to the answer. That will help you get through any difficult moment.
  • Self-love vs. self-indulgence. They are not the same. Self-indulgence is giving in to an urge out of habit or to soothe a discomfort. Self-love is aligning with the future you want to create.
  • Fall in love with what’s good for you. It’s tempting to feel deprived of the old, comfortable ways. Don’t. Instead, notice what you have, how good it feels to do the new thing and to be a person who is true to her deep desires.
  • Tiny steps. Just as change is created in tiny moments in which you choose differently, creation can be broken into tiny steps. Make a plan and give it a chance to work before you amend it.
  • Let it be easy. Willpower, struggle, and forcing are overrated. Fun and love are the real powerhouses of change and creation. There’s always a fun way to do something. Find the fun and find the love inside your desire, and it will be easier.
  • Celebrate often. Because it helps new habits form, because you get to do this new thing, and just because you’re alive – woohoo!

All my love,

Future You

P.S. Life coaches are artists of change and creation. If you think you and your resolutions would benefit from support from one, please schedule a connect call with Allison


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